Kids have it too easy these days. With access to free public schools and free wifi they\u2019ve all gone soft and Halloween is part of the problem. I never got a handout just by dressing up in a silly costume and neither should they. What kids need to understand is that we live in a capitalistic society that was built upon hard work and, occasionally, nepotism but mostly hard work. I usually lock the gates to my mansion this time of year but on the 31st of October I\u2019ll be throwing them wide open. There will be no treats however. Instead I\u2019ll be giving the kiddos something much more valuable and I encourage you to do the same for the sake of our great nation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1. A Nickel<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When my grandfather came to this country he only had a nickel to his name. It was a name that was thoughtfully changed to something \u201cless ethnic\u201d by the good folks at Ellis Island but that\u2019s another story. Like any self-respecting young immigrant, my grandfather threw his only nickel into the water so that he could bore everyone about how he started life in the US of A with nothing to his name. This year give those little tykes a nickel so that they can have a story to bore their grandchildren with for years to come but make sure that they throw it back into one of the fountains in your driveway to keep them legit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2. A Shoe Shine Box<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Every good rags to riches story has a shoe shine box and so does my grandfather\u2019s. Upon realizing that he\u2019d thrown his last nickel into the ocean my grandfather did what any young budding industrialist would do and mugged another immigrant child for his shoe shine box! After shining shoes for all of three hours my grandfather realized that shining shoes was for suckers and promptly hired the child immigrant he\u2019d previously mugged at half his daily wages….(to read more just click through to 5 Things the Rags to Riches Industrialist Wants You to Hand Out this Year for Halloween<\/a> on The Haven!)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Kids have it too easy these days. With access to free public schools and free wifi they\u2019ve all gone soft and Halloween is part of the problem. I never got a handout just by dressing up in a silly costume and neither should they. What kids need to understand is that we live in a [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":235,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-234","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","category-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t