When They Say “We’ll Treat You Like Family”

“We’ll treat you like family.”

It’s a phrase I often hear during commercials for used cars, slightly dented appliances and, occasionally, in job descriptions. On the surface it seems to be an innocuous and heartfelt statement albeit in a hokey sort of way. Once I started thinking about it though, it seemed a bit vague. Who’s family are we talking about? The Addams family? The Kardashians? The people on Jersey Shore? No thanks. I wouldn’t trust any of them to sell me a toaster oven.

To be only slightly more ridiculous what kind of family are we talking about? Immediate family? Extended family? The “Family” designation in the Hierarchy of Biological Classification? Depending upon the definition I could be purchasing a used Toyota from one of my uncles or an orangutan. I’m clearly being a bit absurd but you see my point.

The phrase takes on a much less wholesome tone when used in terms of a workplace. It sounds like you’ll be joining a cult instead of a place of business. Charles Manson had a “family” and I don’t think many people would be lining up to affiliate themselves with him these days.

Whether it’s being used to sell a set of steak knives or hire an accountant “We’ll treat you like family,” is, at best, lazy marketing. The fact is that I’ve already got a family that I love and adore but that doesn’t mean that I want two of them.

Isn’t that illegal in most states?

About the Author

derekbremer Prior to his life as a stay at home father Derek spent more than a decade performing public relations and marketing functions for financial consulting firms and found the job to be precisely as exciting as it sounds. When not tending to his wife or daughter Derek enjoys subjecting the public to his unique take on fatherhood, travel and animal husbandry. He has been published in Scary Mommy, Sammiches and Psych Meds, The Good Men Project, HowToBeADad, Red Tricycle, RAZED, HPP and the Anthology "It's Really Ten Months Special Delivery: A Collection of Stories from Girth to Birth.