A Somewhat Indirect Email Campaign

For legal purposes, this isn’t exactly a threat, but it’s also not exactly not a threat either

Dear [First Name] [Last Name],

I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. The fact is that I don’t even know if you’re the person I should be reaching out to. I bought this list from a company in Texas, well…kind of. The company is based in Texas, but its data mining branch is located in Croatia for “tax reasons.”

Anyhow, once I got the list for 59.99 Euros, all I had to do was figure out how to do a mail merge, and then BAM, this showed up in your inbox. Actually, it wasn’t really that simple. Figuring out how to merge the file with this email took most of the day.

I’m not even completely sure it worked because I’m not going through all fifteen thousand emails. Still, I spot-checked a few, and most of them looked pretty solid. Of course, I had to send them out in batches so that Chimp Mail wouldn’t pull my account. It took 34 hours to make it happen, and I’m pretty tired, but I’m hoping that you’ll make the effort worth it.

Which brings me to what this email is all about. The truth is that I’m not really sure…

To read more just click through to A Somewhat Indirect Email Campaign on Medium!

About the Author

derekbremer Prior to his life as a stay at home father Derek spent more than a decade performing public relations and marketing functions for financial consulting firms and found the job to be precisely as exciting as it sounds. When not tending to his wife or daughter Derek enjoys subjecting the public to his unique take on fatherhood, travel and animal husbandry. He has been published in Scary Mommy, Sammiches and Psych Meds, The Good Men Project, HowToBeADad, Red Tricycle, RAZED, HPP and the Anthology "It's Really Ten Months Special Delivery: A Collection of Stories from Girth to Birth.