Dating Myself

And you thought dating other people was hard

I recently heard someone say, “I don’t want to date myself but…” and then quickly lost interest in the conversation because I was eavesdropping and it wasn’t all that interesting.

At first I thought the statement was a little sad and kind of ridiculous. After all who wouldn’t want to date themselves? How great would that be?

I’d probably never ask myself, “Is that what you’re going to wear?” and there wouldn’t be any arguments about what to watch on TV or listen to on the radio. I’d never have to ask myself to turn off the bedroom light once I was finished reading because I would have already turned off the light!

Life would be pretty idyllic, at least at first. There’s a honeymoon period in every relationship but, after a while, I imagine I’d get on my own nerves. “Really? Cobb salad again?” I can imagine saying to myself, “We’ve had it for three dinners in a row. Don’t you want to eat something else?”

That would only be a precursor to more serious issues. Eventually, I’d have to talk to myself about who was going to be the stay-at-home parent. Whenever I’ve pictured myself in any sort of long-term relationship I’ve always thought that one of us would stay home to raise our child. Instead of freelancing I would have to knuckle down and get a “real job” like selling life insurance or assessing property taxes. I’d be bitter about the time it took me away from my daughter as well as my creative pursuits and I’d probably harbor some resentment towards myself.

On the flip side, as a stay-at-home father, I’d be upset about feeling beholden to myself as a breadwinner and the missed opportunity to make something of myself in the professional world.

Of course that’s assuming that I’d even make it into a long-term relationship with myself. I’ve never been all that good at dating and, I imagine, our first one would be awkward. I’d probably drink a little too much and then push too hard to take the next step.

“Why don’t you meet my parents?” I’d ask, “We have family brunch every Sunday and I’m sure they’d just love you.”

To finish the piece just click through to Dating Myself on Medium!

About the Author

derekbremer Prior to his life as a stay at home father Derek spent more than a decade performing public relations and marketing functions for financial consulting firms and found the job to be precisely as exciting as it sounds. When not tending to his wife or daughter Derek enjoys subjecting the public to his unique take on fatherhood, travel and animal husbandry. He has been published in Scary Mommy, Sammiches and Psych Meds, The Good Men Project, HowToBeADad, Red Tricycle, RAZED, HPP and the Anthology "It's Really Ten Months Special Delivery: A Collection of Stories from Girth to Birth.