A Eulogy for Our Elf on the Shelf, Twinkle Sapphire Sparkle Moonbeam

It is with some sadness that I announce the passing of our Elf on the Shelf Twinkle Sapphire Sparkle Moonbeam. Christmas can be a stressful time of year and it’s even more so for Santa’s little helpers. Being an Elf on the Shelf isn’t an easy calling. The hours are tough, the commute is even worse, and a diet that consists of nothing but processed sugar can wear on even the hardiest of souls.

Twinkle Sapphire Sparkle Moonbeam was a good Elf on the Shelf but the job began to take its inevitable toll. Looking back, the signs of her struggle were clear but neither my wife nor I understood what they meant. We were just too busy.

Twinkle’s decline began in typical fashion. During her first year with us, Twinkle began to have a drink of schnapps on her off hours to unwind. The closer we came to Christmas however, one peppermint schnapps turned into two and then two into seventeen and by the time the 25th came around Twinkle was hitting the Rumple Minze pretty hard.

To read more just click through to A Eulogy for Our Elf on the Shelf, Twinkle Sapphire Sparkle Moonbeam on Medium!

About the Author

derekbremer Prior to his life as a stay at home father Derek spent more than a decade performing public relations and marketing functions for financial consulting firms and found the job to be precisely as exciting as it sounds. When not tending to his wife or daughter Derek enjoys subjecting the public to his unique take on fatherhood, travel and animal husbandry. He has been published in Scary Mommy, Sammiches and Psych Meds, The Good Men Project, HowToBeADad, Red Tricycle, RAZED, HPP and the Anthology "It's Really Ten Months Special Delivery: A Collection of Stories from Girth to Birth.